


End of Days

by lucian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, M/M, Self-Harm, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-18
Updated: 2009-08-18
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:39:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10138748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucian/pseuds/lucian
Summary: Realities of war.





	

Severus makes his way across the battlefield and down to the dungeons, vaguely aware of people around him saying things he doesn't hear.  
He stands in the center of his cemetery-silent chambers. The doors are locked and warded, but he doesn't remember doing it.  
He doesn't care.  
In the darkness, the battle blooms behind his eyes: curse-green and hex-red arc across the sky while the muddled sounds of battle swirl around him. 

_"Severus! I did it! I killed - "_

He refuses to remember. He falls to his knees, catching himself on muddy hands just before he slips into unconsciousness.

*****

 _The killing curse crackles through the air, close enough to burn, and the the world stills to simple, slow heartbeats as he watches it hit Harry squarely in the chest._  
The rain slides down Harry's cheeks like tears as he crumples, falling back slowly, so slowly, to land empty-eyed in the mud. One ivory hand falls to the ground, reaching out to Severus.  
Severus stands in the downpour; his robe soaked, his face stone. He feels nothing.  
Pale lips part and rain falls into that perfect mouth, filling until it leaks out the side: a tiny lake bordered by perfect porcelain stones.  
He stands motionless and watches the rain fill his Saviour's empty emerald eyes.

 

Severus wakes up in time to vomit over the side of the bed. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stumbles out to the kitchen, unaware of his nudity. He opens a bottle of firewhiskey, sinks to the floor, and drinks until he can't see straight.  
He is still cold, but it is not physical.

*****

 _Harry is trembling with exhaustion after hours of Occlumency practice and physical training, but he has not protested once._  
The clock has just struck midnight. They have been up since dawn.  
"That's enough," Severus murmurs, hand braced on a table. He does not want Harry to see how close he is to collapse.  
Harry looks at him for a long moment and Severus barely hears a muttered "Fuck it" before Harry's lips are pressed to his and his world explodes with light.

 

Severus drags himself off the cold kitchen floor, grabs another bottle of firewhiskey, and carefully makes his way back to the bedroom.  
He drops to his knees in front of the fire and drinks himself to sleep, tears streaming down his face.

*****

 _"No, you don't."_  
"I do."  
"You can't."  
"I can."  
"You won't."  
"I will, I can, and I do!" Harry says, his eyes bright with joy. He swings a leg over to straddle Severus and cups Severus' stubble-rough face in his hands.  
"Tell me," he murmurs softly, "Tell me - when have you ever seen me so happy?" Severus looks at him with wary eyes, terrified of the hope that's clawing through his chest for the first time in his life.  
"I love you, Severus. And no matter how you try to escape it, I always will."

 

Severus walks sedately to the kitchen and selects his favorite knife. He leans a hip against the counter and presses the knife with calm certainty into the shallow valley just below the bones of his wrist. The pain is clarifying.  
Blood spills to the floor in pulses as he walks back to the bedroom.  
He slides under the covers, presses his face to Harry's pillow, and smiles.

 

_"Merlin! Are you okay?"_  
Severus crushes Harry to him. "Yes, I'm fine."  
"You're bleeding."  
"I know. I'm fine."  
"But - "  
"Shut up, Harry."  
Harry holds him tightly, almost suffocatingly so.  
"I've missed you."  
Severus buries his face in Harry's shoulder and closes his eyes.  
"I know." 


End file.
